Two of Swords: Going Indie After Querying.
I. The Traditional Publishing Dream
When I look back to my primary school library, in the hallway between where the prep classes are and the front office, I think of two things. Learning about the Dewey Decimal System, and thinking about where books came from.
As a resident eldest Asian child, it was customary that I read at a grade 6 level at the ripe age of 8. As such, I read a lot of books — so much that I got in trouble with my mother for reading too much (probably because it prevented me from washing the dishes).
The following thought applies to readers of all ages, though: the only way to publish a book is through a big publishing house (in America?) and you need to print your hundreds of pages of manuscript, and present it on the desk of an editor like in all the movies.
To a reader, the “author life” is like the “celebrity life”. Flying out to literary events, speaking on panels, media coverage, launch events in bookshops, signing books, copies of your novel in every single bookshop you visit. It’s the dream of being famous in the nerdy kind of way — the everyday household name, kind of way.
Many of us grow up with this dream. Catching an offer from a literary agent, diving into submissions, an editor picking us up. And our book heading to the shelves soon after.
There is much to commend as part of this dream, though many dreams come with their own reality.
II. The Traditional Publishing Reality
I started writing my first novel in 2017, called Chasing Time. A medieval fantasy about a thief and prince going on a time travel adventure.
This is where I also learnt I often got stuck at the transition between Act 1 and Act 2 for a little while.
Two years later, in 2019, I still had no novel to my name. But I did start a writing Discord server to make some new friends, and we’re still going strong to this day. By around April 2019, I pivoted to the novel Glass Panes and Rainbows, inspired by a roleplay session in a budding discord roleplay server (a bit of fantasy, a bit of regency era). This was my very first interaction as Iris Galacia.
Thus came chapter 1, and with that many chapters, until I got stuck between acts again and restarted, then restarted again. Then we come to 2021 (what?!).
I changed the name Glass Panes and Rainbows to TELL ME HOW IT ENDS, which you may be familiar with as my upcoming debut novel.
I completed the first draft in December 2021, edited everyday for a few weeks, sent it to multiple beta readers (even writers I hadn’t met before, and then became friends with). In April 2022 (peep the trend), I sent my first query.
My first query was my first full request, 4 days later!!
I had a very lucky run with querying — for a YA fantasy that didn’t have a unique cultural setting, and in these times. With around 8 or 9 full requests with one from an indie publishing house, I was very excited for what was to come. I had an awesome run in pitch events too.
Anxiety racked me for many weeks, waiting each morning for emails. I set my phone to vibrate only when I got emails in my query inbox (definitely recommended).
But when it came to months later, I was numb to the emails, only labelling them in my inbox for organisation’s sake, until I stopped updating my QueryTracker and spreadsheet.
On November 22nd 2022, I received a form rejection for my first full request.
Three form sentences that I waited 8 months for.
I hadn’t sent a query for months, but I officially quit querying the day after.
The traditional publishing industry has a lot of layers to it, but I’d like to lay out a few factors that I experienced during my pursuit for tradpub:
Lots of hard work and rejection
You’ll hear it from me, and everyone in the industry. Becoming a bestselling author (usually) doesn’t come easy. You need to put yourself out there, and I mean that. Writing is an art, and art is a piece of your soul. It’s a communication of yourself to the world. You begin to operate as a businessperson with your book as a product as you enter the querying pipeline.
So when you work so hard to get a novel together, edit it, get beta readers, and prepare for querying, only for it to be met with rejection because that is how the industry is built, it hurts. No one is soft for feeling down about rejections. No one is soft for trying and stopping, trying and waiting before going again, trying and then deciding to do something else.
Power dynamics
An author becomes the face of a product when it’s being sold by editors and publishers. As much as booklovers will take over these roles and bring their heart to it, this system has long been built upon decision makers. People you need to get in front of to feel validated by an unconscious system. Evident in the Twitter feed, we become addicted to scanning the profiles of agents, chasing likes in pitch events, and glorifying other humans who have the power to make a choice. We lose creative and administrative control in the process, and while many of us may not be privileged enough to cater towards these needs in the indie or self publishing process, this fact can coexist with the need for Big Publishing Decision Makers to consider what books are really about, what writers really want and, honestly, what readers want because it seems they become more and more disconnected by the day.
And this doesn’t have to be at the fault of each individual, because many traditional publishing professionals are lovely people who want to make a change, but it is at the fault of a system that decides creativity follows money.
Timing
Chances are that by the time you go on submission, your book may not be published for another year, or two, or three. And this isn’t even accounting for writing the book, querying and working with your agent.
But with that, there are many writers who query for a decade before they score an agent, and sometimes they even decide to part ways because it’s not the right match.
You can ask many traditional publishing pros and they will tell you that the industry is slow, or works at its own pace.
You may spend years as a little blue dot on QueryTracker before you turn purple.
I didn’t meet a year in my querying process, but that doesn’t downplay my experience of waiting and waiting for not very much in return. Are you prepared to wait a few years before you see your debut on the shelf? If you are, then that may work for you, especially if you plan to write books in the meantime. If not, that is understandable.
Discrimination and lack of diversity
I’m a lot of checkboxes, including my gender identity, sexuality, gender at birth, socio-economic class, racial identity, neurodivergency… yeah.
It’s hard NOT to notice the discrimination in the traditional publishing industry. And this is not only about outward words and actions towards under-represented voices, but the lack of effort to do anything MORE about our place in the industry.
We are finding lists we can’t break into because we’re too similar to other clients, or stories set in similar places so it won’t ride the trends of the industry. Or we’re told our characters and words are unfamiliar and therefore not marketable. That they cannot relate to our voices, and so we are not worthy of publication.
Art is not about money. Business can be about money. But publishing has always been a unique situation, one where people are shocked that you aren’t expected to pay to get published and that you get royalties and advances. They’ve been different from the very start, yet this is something that is taking far too long to catch up.
You won’t only find this in the publishing process, but even look at the Goodread awards, or other literary giants that feature and award books. Where are the queer books, where are the authors of colour? We are not a token to show diversity, but voices that have been historically silenced. Again I say, it does not take an outburst from a company to know they are discriminatory.
It’s a lack of effort to act on their part and do better.
Relying on the industry being ready when you already are
Many of these points come down to this. Are you willing to wait? Do you want to rely on an industry that wants you to wait for it?
Because you may be ready once you enter the querying process, but the industry won’t be for years, or maybe ever if you’ve found yourself shelving a book due to a lack of success, back timing, rejection, power dynamics and discrimination.
This was one of my biggest calls to indie, but let’s dive deeper.
III. The Questions I Asked Myself
If you find yourself on the fence, or considering a move because you’re here reading this post, here are some questions I asked myself that you can ask yourself.
What do I want from traditional publishing?
Can I get that from self publishing and indie publishing?
What am I willing to compromise from traditional publishing in order to gain from indie publishing?
What do I want from publishing?
Am I ready to publish, or am I rushing?
What’s stopping me?
Can I do it?
How much will it really cost me?
Am I willing to continue querying and feeling the way I am right now for months more?
What is possible in indie publishing?
Who do I know is an indie author that I can chat with?
What resources do I have?
What communities can I join?
What am I afraid of?
What will it take to make my dreams come true?
IV. The Indie Publishing Dream
I’ve never been happier with my book now that I’m pursuing indie publishing.
Working with friends
When I say indie, I mean not only working by yourself, but alongside other artists to bring things together. You’re an independent author with a team on your side. For me this is my editor, my character artist and my cover artist. These three are incredible people that I am only grateful for. And I’m so glad that I can work on my creative vision with them.
Meeting amazing indie authors and connecting more with existing ones
Whether indie authors I was already friends with, or new ones I connected with because I decided to go indie, having a small community to support me feels amazing, more intimate, and prepares me for what’s to come.
Falling in love with my book each time I work on it
When I was querying, my novel was either sitting on my laptop, or in someone’s inbox as I waited for a response.
Now my novel is a key part of my everyday operations, tinkering away at formatting, editing and preparing it for print. And each time I read my words, I fall in love even more. You couldn’t imagine how I felt adding tarot card images to the start of each chapter, sharing a little passion each time.
Formatting my novel the way I want it and always saw it
As said, tarot cards at the start of chapters. Headings in the fonts I want. Drop caps. My title and name in the header, aligned where I want them. Front and back matter just as I want it set. A fantasy map I made myself.
I trust my hands to bring my book to life and when I got my proof copy for the first time… I could only feel the happiness of having a real copy of my novel that was created by me, alongside some amazing friends. It’s the beauty of publishing wrapped in a moment.
Creative control over the cover
Sending my cover artist references of covers I like, vibes, moodboards, official character art… it’s so fun to be able to collaborate with someone who I trust with the design vision and to provide me options to develop the best cover for my debut… and perhaps more novels to come!
Connecting closely with online communities on my own terms and having the best understanding of my novel’s vision
I have the advantage of a design, communication and PR work and study background which means it comes more naturally to me to develop plans, project timelines and more. But what I love about this is that I can more closely connect with different readers and writers, as the one with the best understanding of the vision I’m communicating. I determine the messaging, the graphics, the incentives. And who knows how creative you could get working with other people.
Working in my own time
Since I’m independent, I can determine when I want things done, with a few self imposed deadlines. This is all about project management and I personally find it a lot of fun. I can understand how it can be difficult, so you could work with someone else to get timelines in place and stay accountable!
Taking up space
I’m a queer non-binary Asian indie author taking up my space in the literary world to share my stories with others who relate, and others like me. What more could I ask for?
V. Conclusion
I’m incredibly proud of myself for giving querying a fair shot and taking myself to this point where I’m excited everyday for something new.
Indie publishing is simply beautiful to me and I don’t see myself switching anytime soon as I line up more novels to write and share with other readers.
We can create a literary world where we see ourselves in our characters and stories, and a world that doesn’t require the layers of traditional publishing.
There are so many possibilities — many more than a younger you could have ever imagined. I do hope you take advantage of these possibilities, whether you decide to pursue traditional publishing or indie publishing.
Interested in further entertaining the idea of indie publishing? You can contact me anytime for a chat.
